I have noticed something about myself as a guy that I think other guys can resonate with as well. And I find it troubling.
It’s the misconception that the battles I face and the brokenness I experience are unique to me. I think of it this way. As I view my own life and the emotional and spiritual discouragements that I encounter, I am looking for solutions. Meaning, I want my problems fixed. I want to cease doing whatever is tripping me up; I also want to change and add new habits that are going to propel me forward into certain victory.
College days. Some good times in life and a good time for my life.
I look back at what I thought I knew about life then and it makes me cringe. I envisioned I had a good perspective, but the decades now behind me remind that I was not as mature about life as I thought.
Just a little over a week ago our youth and worship guy at church got married to his bride. And our pastor did a stellar job of reminding those there about the why of their marriage.
That it was a picture…a picture of Jesus pursuing His church.
That it was a gospel reality in physical display.
Everyone seems to have the “great restaurant story” that has happened to them – for good or for bad. Mine occurred just a couple of weeks ago.
I had the privilege of spending some time with my mom recently as I had gone out for a memorial for my grandparents on my mom’s side. We had a blast during the week and did a lot of fun things as mom and son, including some projects around the house.
As of the time I published this post, it was over one month. One month that I have had no running water in my house. We live in a rural area and there is no such thing as “city water.” Water comes to houses by having a well drilled on your property. That was a new experience for me growing up in California suburbia.
Have you heard about the new app that is just killing it? It’s called Sarahah and it has quickly risen to the new #1 app in the Apple App Store.
It’s marketing push is simple: “Get honest feedback from your coworkers and friends.”
I enjoy the outdoors and how it rejuvenates me. And one of the newer hobbies I have taken up is riding a fat tire bike. I have mountain biked for some decades now, but having a mountain bike with 4-inch wide tires is a whole new adventure. I ride with a group of guys and we bomb around out in the woods…trail or no trail.
I can roll over tree limbs and rocks, motor through mud patches or snow, and can climb about anything. And part of the fun is that I ride with guys who really know the sport and have an expertise about them. And being in my fifties now, I set a low bar for myself, and that is simply DO NOT DIE, so I appreciate getting the do’s and don’t’s of how to ride through and in certain conditions.
Why is it so difficult for me to make things right with my wife? I cannot tell you the number of times that I have replayed a situation or conversation in my mind, only to be both judge and jury and be found “innocent.” As a guy, I have this very unbiblical perception that being a “good husband” means to be shown right in all that I do or to never show weakness.
The very fact that I think this way at times only serves making things right that much harder.
We live in a culture that celebrates the “in only 20 minutes a day, you can have a body that looks like this!” mentality. In lives that just seem to get busier and busier, it makes sense on the surface that if I am going to change in an area, I want a process that is going to give maximum benefits through minimal resources or time.
The problem is that it simply does not work. And yet I seem to think that “maybe this one will be different, maybe this will one will actually take.” And like a mountain, I cannot climb it in “20 easy steps.” It is a step-by-step, day-by-day discipline.
If you have read any of my past blog posts about marriage, you would know that 99.5% of them are aimed at and written for husbands. And that is because, in my own experience, if there are problems in a marriage, there is a very high probability that the husband is leading counter to the vision of Jesus pursuing His church.
But to you ladies out there reading this, if you will stick with me, I might be able to offer you some helpful suggestions in providing for your man what he will immensely value.